Here is the news

This morning on the way to work as I was coming out of the metro exit I was handed a copy of ADN, the free metro newspaper, by the handsome young man who distributes them outside El Pozo station. Given its limitations I rather like ADN: for a free transport rag it’s really not all that bad. I particularly like the cartoonist Ernesto Rodera’s satirical ‘La Viñeta’. He has a wonderfully sardonic vision. There was a cartoon before Christmas of two company directors discussing Christmas bonuses (of course, in the context of pay cuts and obscene handouts during the crisis) and expressing amazement that the workforce didn’t seem to think themselves lucky that, this year at least, the company had decided not to require the slaughtering of their fist born in addition to cancelling all bonuses. Another classic which I snipped out and kept was of a thick-set, brutish middle-aged man with his head in his hands bemoaning the equality laws for women with the cry of dismay ‘Jesus, I don’t believe it- now I’ve even got to respect the ugly cows! His comment on bullfighting was a bull brought to its knees, banderillas (barbed harpoons) sticking out of its neck, blood streaming from its mouth, with the torero in his suit of lights poised to finish the beast off. The torero’s speech bubble? ‘Come on, why the long face? You’re bringing everybody down; this is supposed to be a fiesta.’ However, my absolute favourite was a week or so after the hysteria and exhuberance of Euro Gay Pride here a few years ago. A young man and woman sit side by side on a sofa watching tv and reading the newspaper, ignoring each other, with the caption,

‘And here we can see a couple celebrating the wildly popular Day of Heterosexual Indifference.’

Today’s cartoon depicted two soldiers walking in a featureless wasteland, having the following conversation:

‘Are we heading for Democracy?’

‘All the while.’

‘And haven’t we gone past it?’

For me he seems to hit just the right note every time.

The actual news, on the other hand, made me rather wish I hadn’t opened the paper at all. After class I perched at the bar with my morning coffee and surveyed the main story on the inside cover: A twenty-four year old Ecuadorian girl, the latest victime of domestic violence in a ‘black’ April that has notched up seven bodies, bringing the year’s total to 20 already. That’s 20 women who have been dispatched by their partners or ex partners in just three and a half months. This poor girl, about to return to Ecuador, had been stabbed in the neck by her partner the day she finished the relationship, and had lain dead in their room for 20 hours in a ‘banana boat’ immigrant flat (piso patera) where the murder was not discovered due to the constant comings and goings of the multiple tennants. On discovery her 36 year old murderer ran into the kitchen and stabbed himself in the stomach, but was revived by emergency medical services.

A little further on, on the same page, there were the following stories:

  1. The coverage of the latest horrific earthquake in China, with accompanying photo of a victim being pulled from the wreckage by rescue services.
  2. The latest adamant declaration by some Vatican stuffed cassock that paedophilia is intrinsically linked to homosexuality, while having no direct link to celibacy. A cheap and ignorant commentary worthy of the pages of the Daily Mail (or ‘The Daily Hate’ as a friend of mine calls it). Mind you, this coming from an authority that declared that condom use spreads AIDS rather than contains it. It seems to me that paedophilia is more intimately linked to being a Catholic priest than a Friend of Dorothy. I hoped that the hissing sound of my blood coming to the boil wasn’t disturbing the other café customers. But then I came to this:
  3. In the Uk Primark has been forced after public pressure to withdraw its range of bikinis for seven year olds which feature PADDED TOPS. Yup. Padded bras for seven year olds. The short article went on to explain that Primark had apologised for the blunder and had committed itself to donating the proceeds from any sales up til now of the offending, discontinued garment, to charity. Correct me if I’m wrong, but apart from the despicable fact that some no-brainer designer actually sat down and came up with the concept, then designed it, then it was approved, went into production and finally made it onto the shelves, and in all that time not one person thought to say ‘Whoah, hold on a sec….’ but this also means that people brought this item of clothing for their daughters. And enough people for there to be a significant amount of profit to be donated to a charity. So far for those lucky pre-pubescent girls, we’ve had thongs, pole dancing classes and now padded bikinis. Yeah, great, what next, then? Nipple tassles for five year olds? Trainer stillettoes with stabilisers? In vitrio liposuction for foetuses? Does anyone have any rope handy? Electrical cable- anything… yeah, that’ll do. Excuse me, just off to hang myself.
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One Response to “Here is the news”

  1. christine Says:

    It will be warm enough soon in England for the hoards of very small girls to be dressed by their doting mothers in crop tops,low slung jeans which sit just above their tiny pre pube area,make up which even Lady Gaga would be envious of,skirts which we used to call bum pelmets years ago and all the paraphinalia of teenage hood but 10 years earlier!
    Why do mums want to sexualise their daughters.I always feel rather queasy when I see them.Bring back the smocked frock and ankle socks,the sensible little cardigan,and if your mother was adventurous,a pair of pale blue Clarkes sandals.As for underwear,why in heavens name should they be anything else but sensible! Mind you ,my liberty bodice did traumatise me for years. Save the sexy stuff for later.

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